(no subject)

Not been here in... a looong time. Something someone posted on G+ made me think about something i psoted here but when I re-read it I couldn't bring myself to share it over there.
pretty me

(no subject)

I'm really being mopey at the moment, so here i am looking at what is good in my life.

- Al. I'm so lucky to have him, even when i'm feeling nagged. I know he's only doing it because he wants me to focus. I sat down with him the other day and told him how much of a failure i'm feeling and he was so supportive. He still struggles to deal with me when i cry but as long as i explain to him first and explicitly request a cuddle then he does a very good joib. I love him and that's an amazing feeling! :)

- Family. I have a wonderful family, extended, immediate and in-law. They all look after me and make me feel less desperate when everything else seems to be falling down.

- Friends. You guys are amazing. My friends hold me up and make me smile. They lend me things and give me things, they are as important to me as my family and i am so lucky to have such a huge network of such amazing people who all love me so much!

- Flat. There may be problems associated with the flat, but overall it is a lovely flat in a lovely area.

- Intellect. Double-edged sword, but i wouldn't trade my smarts for simplicity.

- Looks. I have days when i feel ugly but i know i'm not and i appreciate how lucky i am in that respect.

Basically, everything that is wrong relates to money - earning it, needing it, wanting it. Supports the theory that money is the root of all evil :)

I need a hug.

Let's call them Subject A and Subject B.

Both are in hospital. I've known A longer than B, but overall probably spent more time with B - certainly enjoyed more of the time i've spent with B.

A has ended up in hospital resulting from a bacterial infection which may have been triggered by his excessive drinking. He is still in hospital because of his drinking.

B is in hospital through a quirk of fate. She is still in hospital through bad luck.

B should have more of my sympathy because i care about her more and because she hasn't done anything to make her situation worse. Sadly, through geography, A is taking all my worry and concern right now because i see the impact that this has on his family - who mean a hell of a lot to me.

If i was asked to describe A, I would describe him as rude, abrasive, brash, abusive,inconsistant, vague stubborn/pig-headed, chauvenistic(sp) and not very bright. If you talk to people who knew him before he started drinking, he is described as smart, friendly, funny, stubborn and considerate. Alcohol sucks.

(no subject)

I've not been on cos i'm working too hard for too little money. I'm tired and worked up and sick of it all and have nothing happy to share with people. Sorry 'bout that :(

(no subject)

Is there a polite way to say "stop telling me good news about your baby?"

I guess there isn't. I know i'm only being told because they're excited and that's fantastic I just... it feels like i'm being slapped. Bleurgh. Awkward position because i want them to be happy and excited but i don't want to hear about it and that makes me feel mean (which i don't like feeling).

Sorry. I'm being lame and mopey and self-obsessed again. Will stop that.

Strange dream and apology for absence :p

Have a bug whereby i'm tired all the bloody time. Am starting to get over it though.

Dreamt that i had to explain to Margeret Thatcher why it was a good thing for people who had commited violent sexual crimes to go to jail - she thought men who had shouldn't, for some reason. Ended up with me explaining i'd been raped by a guy who liked to murder people in order to eat their feet. Not quite sure where that came from... Actually, tracking down psychotic, murderous cannibals became something of a theme for the dream with my brother becomming convinced he was the person we were looking for (long and convoluted story as to why we were looking for this guy) cos this guy could control animals that were in the shallows of the sea and he used the animals to kill people so he could eat them. My brother thought he might be this person because he'd become very good and hide and seek, and as we couldn't find this person Will figured he must be very good at hiding and if Will couldn't find him then it must mean he was Will. Also, Erin and I were the same person at one point and there was bizarre time travel involved and Al and i got married only then he freaked out and wanted a divorce but i pointed out that we hadn't had sex since getting married (cos i was on my period) so we could probably get an annulment instead and he kissed me and apologised for being crazy about things like that but i didn't mind cos i knew we weren't splitting up, we just weren't being legally married. Though then i half woke up and couldn't quite remember if it was a dream or not and desperately wanted to wake Al up to ask him if we'd got married the night before but figured it was best not to.

Is it the person or the flat?

Tired of listening to my neighbours music through my ceiling. The last guy who lived in the flat above played music all night and this one does it all day. Al went up the other day and knocked on his door to ask him to turn it down a bit (we can hear it over whatever we're doing, as a rule) and the guy started singing "If i ignore him, he will get bored and go away" and when Al knocked again he carried on "yes he'll get bored and go away" so Al knocked again, thinking "no he bloody won't". He listens to thumpy dance music so it's not even as though he was singing along to genuine lyrics.

He is a bit weird, though. We hear him doing a proper "muahahahaha" style laugh from time to time, but normally he giggles like a school girl. I think a lot of his weirdness comes from being lonely - he sneaks out in the middle of the night and comes back panting so i assume he goes jogging when no one will see him - not a bad idea actually. The back streets round here are nice when it's dark. It feels secret. He is hugely overweight and i know that bothers him.

It's a shame, really, if the flats had decent sound proofing, we'd probably get along fine. He seems nice enough overall, just as i said lonely. He plays his music loud enough to travel down through our flat into Al's mum's beneath us, making Rosie bark. Hazel's even asked us to turn it down on occasion, not realising it's his music not ours. Shows how loud it is.
  • Current Music
    some crappy dance thing